Saturday, 19 September 2026

Processor Press

A newspaper of fiction and humour.

All stories are fiction. About the paper →

About the paper

Processor Press

A newspaper of fiction and humour.

What this site is

Processor Press looks like a newspaper on purpose. The masthead, sections, and “Popular News” list are part of the joke: a fake broadsheet for invented stories.

Sections such as World, Politics, Business, Sports, and Entertainment are labels for satire, not beats staffed by reporters. City “desks” (Sydney, Melbourne, London, and the rest) are the same joke: fictional columnists, not correspondents in those places.

What this site is not

  • It is not a newsroom and does not employ correspondents.
  • It is not a source of facts, forecasts, or medical, legal, or financial advice.
  • It does not endorse advertisements that may appear beside the copy.
  • It does not claim interviews, leaks, or documents mentioned in a story are real.

Contact the desk

Use this form for corrections to the satire notice, privacy questions, or other site issues — not to “tip” fictional stories.